Lady Bam Podcast with Mary McDonnell – Episode #2 – Katee Sackhoff

Mary talks with her longtime friend and colleague the amazing Katee Sackhoff about Life, Work, and Women!

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8 thoughts on “Lady Bam Podcast with Mary McDonnell – Episode #2 – Katee Sackhoff”

  1. Ladies, I loved today’s podcast! It’s the best so far, (that includes WWSRD). It was interesting to hear both of you talking about different acting methods.
    I often wondered how you walk away from very emotional scenes. The emotions you show are so real, it’s hard to imagine “cut” and you feel no side effects. Mary, I remember the scene in BSG where you go to see Billy after he died. One of my favorite scenes. I imagined you went home and gave your own son an extra big hug.
    And Katee, the fact that you felt comfortable enough to share anxiety, cancer and pregnancy issues touched me. Mary must have created a very safe and trusting environment for you. I enjoyed hearing about your dogs and would have liked to hear about Mary’s dogs too.

    The clock with every number saying “now” was also a thought that touched me. I work 2 days a week at a Senior Living Center. They’ve all become like extended family for me. And they can be gone in the near future. So I try to tell them how I feel and do for them what I can because there may not be tomorrow. But oh, the memories I’m making.

    The last comment I’d like to make is about the amount of hate people show toward other women. It could apply to both genders. When I heard the comments made about Sarah Huckebee Sanders at the Correspondents Dinner I was so angry and sad for what we have become. Mary, when you talked about being in control of how we react and respond to others, it made me think I have to make the effort to be kinder.

    This podcast is my favorite because it was so thought provoking. I wish I was better at expressing my thought but hopefully you can appreciate the impact it had on me.
    I can’t wait for the next one and I can’t wait, Mary, for you to announce her next project. I really miss seeing you perform.

    Do you think Randle Mell would ever be a guest on Ladybam?

  2. This has been excellent! Thank you so much all involved! (I still don’t know what the “Bam” part means. I’ve been saying “BadAss Mary”. Haha! Be funny if that’s actually what it is! I’m sorry if I’m supposed to know, but I have been unable to find the answer anywhere.

  3. Great podcast, Mrs. McDonnell! It’s very calming, relaxing, and thought provoking.

  4. Great podcast, Mary! It’s very calming, relaxing, and thought provoking. I hope to hear more in the future. Have a great day, ma’am!

  5. Dear Ladies of Awesomeness,

    Thank you for this terrific podcast. There was a lot to think about, and I particularly appreciate your candid honestly. As a way to honour your honestly, I will be candid and honest myself.

    First, I like dogs. But I currently have cats. I am not a cat lady. But there are ample cats in my life. I think your podcast should have more cats.

    Second, I appreciated your discussion about women supporting women, as well as what people (including fans) say to you (and others) and about you (and others). It is crucial that as women, we support other women and celebrate the success of other women. So congratulations to each of you for the wonderful success you have enjoyed. You have earned it! Celebrate it!

    As for the naysayers, the negative voices, and those individuals who typically only have mean/cruel/thoughtless things to say, well, my response tends to vary by my mood. I am a professor, and therefore each term, I am subjected to anonymous student evaluations. Plus, occasionally, students will review me on Ratemyprofessor.com. The anonymous nature of the evaluations can make students particularly cruel in some cases. Plus, interestingly (but not entirely surprisingly), women professors are typically rated lower than their male colleagues. This is a well-established trend in academia, and has been shown in many studies. So, if it is any consolation (misery loves company, yes?), I have to face a range of anonymous comments every term, and my job depends in part on those evaluations. Lately, my students have been kind…although one student did write that my jokes were “lame” this past term. Also, a student did not like the fact that my slides don’t have all the answers. Sadly, not one of my students recorded the comment that I suggested they use for the evaluations, which was, “Dr T’s fashion style is academic chic, and it rocks.”

    I don’t have any advice on how to deal with the negative stuff. My approach is to ignore the best and the worst comments, and to focus on the in-between ones. I spend perhaps a few hours reflecting on my performance, and then I pick 2-3 things that I hope to improve in the next term. And then I have some bourbon and move on. Full stop. No going back to rehash the good or bad reviews. Also, never read online reviews, especially anonymous ones. People either love you or hate you, and neither extreme is helpful.

    One thing I do try to remember when dealing with unpleasant people is that people who are mean often have not experienced much grace in their own life. You have to have experienced grace and kindness to know how to use the language of grace and kindness. Some people simply do not have the vocabulary of grace because they have never experienced it. And everyone is carrying baggage. EVERYONE.

    Third, I believe that our highly individualistic culture is one of the reasons that people can be so competitive and why some people believe that their advancement depends on other people’s loss. I have some thoughts about shifting that approach, but this is not my classroom. However, social capital is an important concept to consider in all of this.

    Fourth, I really, REALLY appreciate the radical honesty about vulnerability, anxiety, and having babies and stuff. Thank you for being so candid. Women, we are too judgmental about the state of other women’s uteri (that’s plural of uterus, FYI). Mind your own business and be kind. Is that so hard?

    I manage a condition of depression and anxiety. For me, the condition is like diabetes in that it must be managed. If I manage it, I can have a decent life. But if I pretend for a moment that it is not real and that I can do whatever I want….well, then it is going to bite me in the ass but hard. So I appreciate hearing from other people who also have grappled with depression and/or anxiety. It is especially important when you are around younger people a lot (like I am, as a professor) to be open about mental health issues. People need to see that you can have anxiety and still achieve things and that it is ok to ask for help.

    Fifth, I am glad that meditation has worked for you! I understand that meditation and yoga can be very effective for many people. I have tried to meditate. I have tried yoga. No one wins. No one scores goals. I get bored. When my yoga teacher said, “everyone wins when we do yoga”, I had to quit. I can’t play that game. In the interests of radical honesty and empathy for everyone, there are some of us who need to go and hit the shit out of a few pucks (or balls) to clear our minds and our hearts. Intense sporting activities like running, distance cycling, and rowing have the same positive effect on me that yoga and mediation has for many of my friends. A chacun, son gout, right? To each, her own.

    Sixth (and lastly), 11AM is a perfectly respectable hour for having wine. If it were 8AM, I would have some concerns. Everyone knows that you should be drinking mimosas at 8AM, and so wine would be gauche. Are you guys sure in you are in California? I thought you guys were supposed to be more laid-back. Or am I just being the stereotypical Canadian booze-hound? Let the record show that I am not presently wearing flannel OR drinking beer.

    Uh. about that last point re: the beer….sorry, that is not true.

    Thank you again for a thoughtful discussion. Perhaps I will listen again some time. Cheers!

  6. Mary and Katie Thank you so much for this podcast !i really enjoyed both of them so far !from SKB I got follow your dreams even if they scare you ,Katie you taught me to fake it till you make it , my dream is meeting Mary in person , and it scares the hell out of me ,I’m afraid I’ll cry or put my foot in my mouth or fart . And traveling without my husband is scary too ! I had a bad experience traveling by myself, before , Yet I will be in Nashville in four days after riding a greyhound bus to get there , to meet my favorite actress! Mary McDonnell! Thanks Stacey ! Katie , and most especially Mary ,for helping me have the courage to do this! Listening to these podcasts are very enlightening ! I agree with Glenna , Mary , please talk about your dogs next time “ Tell us how you ended up with them! And what their names are .

  7. Thank you so much. I love these podcasts and have been listening for quite a while now.

    This time I was particularly interested to hear about the emotional toll of playing certain scenes. It worries me that so many shows / movies still portray women as victims, sometimes quite gruesomely and in a protracted way.

    I’m watching an episode of one favourite show at the moment where a serial killer is torturing women. I don’t care for that and am watching that episode in small chunks, but I worry about how it is for female actors to be constantly portraying victim roles — how that affects them personally.

    I much prefer shows where women are portrayed as having their own strengths, as in the current crop of shows like Supergirl and the like.

    I’d be interested to hear more about how playing certain parts affects the actors over time — positively or negatively.

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